You who put me down.
You who threw me to the ground with every word you never said.
The door to my soul was open and the window to my heart shattered. You left me behind with out a word or even a glance in my direction. You spit insults in my face like it was nothing and refused to let me pick myself back up.
You are a monster.
A monster who never listened.
Who never cared.
Who never wanted me or even wanted to look at me.
Was I so bad?
Was I so awful that I couldn't get a look from my own father?
Ever since she came into your life.
That life-sucking parasite.
That bitch who never wanted either of us.
Why she stayed?
I guess I'll never know.
Maybe that's not for me to know, or anyone, for that matter.
It's been years since you left, and perhaps I want to see you just so I can tell you how much I hate you.
And how much I don't.
I want to hate you with every inch of my body, but I can't.
I want to tell you that I never want to see or hear you ever again.
But I know better.
And as much as you think I do,
I don't tell lies.
Not to you.
Not to her.
Not to anyone, except, perhaps, myself.
I want to throw you down and toss you around like a doll.
Like a faceless, broken, doll.
Like a porcelain girl with no emotion and no care.
You who never cared.
You who took my own father from me.
I truly can hate you.
And I do.
I want to throw you into the burning pits of hell and watch you scream in agony.
Maybe that's a bit twisted, but I don't even care at the moment.
I want you to suffer as I did.
That's how long you tortured me with insults and lies.
You say I couldn't sing.
I couldn't write.
I couldn't dance.
Well, here I am, doing all that you said I couldn't.
Here I am, doing the only thing I can for revenge.
Living how you never wanted me to.
Your insufferable lies cursed my every step as a child.
Yet, here I am.
Here I stand, tall and strong.
Without all of you.
You who caused my downfall.
You who caused me great pain.
Maybe you never were rightfully punished.
Maybe you never owned up to your fault.
Maybe I was only a small girl.
And maybe I'm still a little lost.
But, here I am, and there you are.
Your gray hair shines like the fires which I would like to toss you in.
And your beady eyes remind me of the rats who lurk the sewers.
How could you?
I was small.
I was weak.
And you took advantage.
Those dark rooms and those hot places where I disappeared to hide from you.
Your lying fingertips killed me every moment and I screamed.
I curled up under my covers, hoping my sleep would not be filled with images of you.
I hoped that I could escape eternally.
And in my sleep, you took me.
You hurt me in every way, yet you are free.
Perhaps, that is why I write.
Perhaps, that is why I scream inside as I speak these words.
Perhaps, this is my final freedom.
I hate you.
I hate what you did to me.
I hate who you are.
And I wish I could escape from your memory as I did before.
But, I can't.
So I stand here, crying to the world.
Hoping that you hear, though I know that you won't.
All of you.